“The robots will remember facts about their owners, such as names and birthdays,” Dr. Devlin, a computing expert said. The first sex robots will be quite rudimentary.”

Ahh the Daily Mail, always a pleasure.   All right, let’s parse this. Pluto in Aquarius – from January 22, 2024, until March 2043 – is going to be totally robots. How can it not be?

As for relationship robots, if Tinder helped trigger the Dating Apocalypse, how much of a game-shifter could Pluto in Aquarius be?

Hypothetically, I can see the Sun Signs reacting to Pluto in Aquarius Sex Robots in completely different ways.

Aries – Joins the Humanity First party and loudly proclaims the superiority of actual-live partners. Then the Aries gets one anyway but just for “athletic training purposes.” Aries modifies the Thortronic 5000 to spout extremely flattering motivational slogans, keep pace and sync with the Aries fitness wearables.

Who knows what goes on between these two at the locker room, post-work-out rub down?

Taurus – Orders the infra-red handed pulsating massage model for purely health purposes. Is still in litigation with the manufacturers following an unsuccessful attempt to make the Sex Robot fry some potatoes after a particularly vigorous massage.

Gemini – Orders three Sex Robots and programs them to interact with one another.  Live streams the robotic trio for a substantial profit. Swaps the “remembers names and birthdays” feature for a live news feed of memes and weird cool facts.

Cancer –  Won’t get one until the Sex Robots come with memory storage big enough to hold ALL of their information, pet grudges, and formative family circumstances. 

Leo – Modifies it to sing opera or rap on demand and perform multiple beauty maintenance tasks. Prefers it to hover in the air rather than stomp around. Requested Feature: that it disappear with the flick of an elegant Leo paw. Frankly, none of the robots being designed meet the Leo style and design specifications.

One shonky scalp massage or misjudged brow tidy up and the thing is going straight back to the factory. 

Which Sun Sign Remodels The Sex Robot To Make The Bed?

Virgo – Worries about the Electro-Magnetic-Frequency side effects but gets given one for Xmas and re-models it to make the bed. Virgo is the only sign that finds the birthday’s memory feature useful.

Sends the Robot out to buy cat food one day and it never comes back.

Libra – Even though Libra only uses it to fold washing and scent the house (gliding around with a diffuser and frankincense) her devotion toward the Robot causes tension in Libra relationships.

Scorpio – Buys one for their soon-to-ex-partner as a parting gift, setting up some really horrendous little snarky digs to be uttered at the moment of orgasm.

Sagittarius – Turns the Robot into their ride-or-die best buddy character, teaching it automatic in-jokes and going on road trips together. The Sex function stops working as the Robot can’t ‘perform in high winds, a public space or on ‘uneven ground’.

Gets the Robot to carry surfboard and skis.

Capricorn – Got shares in the company (cheap) at I.P.O. Finds the Sex Robot personally inadequate for their needs and has already adjusted the cleaning robot to be more versatile.

Aquarius – The last thing Aquarius needs with Pluto in Aquarius for nearly 20 years is a fuqing Sex Robot. Goes big on Therapy Drones instead. Then turns up one day when everyone thought they were dead or had moved planet, with a Robot Husband.

Pisces – Gets a really fancy Tantric model with Tibetan Five Metal trimming for the Qi enhancement and then freaks out it has consciousness or is filming/recording for some spy agency. Turns it into an artistic installation piece that functions as a really weird oracle. 

Pluto in Aquarius and Sex Robots? Thoughts?

 

 

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